Truffled, Slow-Scrambled Eggs

My cousin, Catherine, stopped by for a visit recently and made us something absolutely sinful: as her brother calls them, "frenchified eggs."  The thing about Catherine, other than that she never learned to draw inside the lines, is that she lives out loud.  If she had a leopard-print scarf and big sunglasses, she'd get a Cary Grant boyfriend with a convertible just so she could drive around a la Audrey Hepburn.

(Wait a minute...she does have the outfit.  Wonder why she's driving a Toyota Rav 4 with Somers?)

Anyhoo, part of living out loud for the cousin is an absolute intolerance for low-fat cooking.  Let's just say her eggs were tasty.

I, on the other hand, have a doctor- and spousal-mandated LOVE for low-fat cooking.  So, when we found ourselves wandering through our crack dealer, and noticed they had fresh truffles on sale, we immediately bought some and went about trying to decide how we should cook them.  After a few quasi-failed attempts (I curdled a truffle and clam cream sauce), I settled on stealing my cousin's eggs...with some modification.

Truffled, Slow-Scrambled Eggs

What You Need

1-2 eggs per person, scrambled
Fresh black truffle (about 1/8 ounce per person), shaved and sliced
1/8 cup finely-chopped Italian parsley
A pinch of sea salt
1 tsp. fat free half & half
1 tsp. butter
Toasted ciabatta slices

What To Do With It

Melt the butter in a pan over LOW heat.  If you're using a gas stove, use the smallest burner possible.  Add the half & half and salt to the eggs and mix. 

Now get ready for your morning calisthenics:  pour the eggs in the skillet and start stirring.  Just keep stirring. For about 20-30 minutes.

Your eggs will slowly begin to curdle, but it will take a while.  Be patient.  You'll know they're ready when you stir them and rather than just moving eggs around in a swirl, you actually almost fold them.  Cook for one minute more, then remove and keep stirring for another minute.

Spoon on top of your toasted bread, sprinkle the truffles and parsley on top and enjoy!

Lox & Eggs and Gruyere Poached Eggs

I have a confession.

I HATE eggs.

I simply don't understand fried eggs (runny yolk is disgusting, and egg whites are gross). Scrambled eggs are only edible if they're covered in ketchup (they're the only thing I eat ketchup on). Don't get me started on soft boiled eggs.

Unfortunately, my wife, and a lot of other people, love eggs. So I spend a lot of time trying to figure out how to make them...palatable.

I've had several people tell me that the two recipes I'm posting are really good. I'll just take their word for it.

Lox & Eggs

What you Need:

Nova Lox (or any other cold smoked salmon) (about 1 ounce per person, maybe a little more)
1/2 tsp dill per person (fresh is preferable)
1/4 Shallot per person
1/2 Tomato per person
1 Egg per person
1 Tbsb. buttermilk per person
1 Tbsp. cream cheese per person

What to do with it:

Chop the lox and tomatoes.
Beat the eggs and buttermilk with a fork. Yep. Buttermilk. Add the dill and cream cheese. Make certain that you have several clumps of cream cheese throughout.
Sautee the shallots in olive oil until translucent on medium heat.
Add a bit more olive oil, and drop in the eggs.
Sprinkle the lox and tomatoes on top, so that they're evenly spaced about.

You're going to want to put a lid on the skillet to keep heat in to cook the top without charring the bottom.

I suppose if you wanted to get really wild, you could add a bagel.

Gruyere Poached Eggs

What you need:

An egg poacher (this just won't work if you do it in boiling water)
Gruyere cheese
Rubbed sage (or crushed)
Salt & Pepper
Sour Dough Bread

What to do with it:

Put two small slices cheese (about 1" by 1/4") in the poacher
Drop in 1/4 tsp of sage, a few shakes of salt and pepper
Poach.
Serve on sourdough toast.

They're good. Trust me.

Or so I've been told.