Truffled, Slow-Scrambled Eggs

My cousin, Catherine, stopped by for a visit recently and made us something absolutely sinful: as her brother calls them, "frenchified eggs."  The thing about Catherine, other than that she never learned to draw inside the lines, is that she lives out loud.  If she had a leopard-print scarf and big sunglasses, she'd get a Cary Grant boyfriend with a convertible just so she could drive around a la Audrey Hepburn.

(Wait a minute...she does have the outfit.  Wonder why she's driving a Toyota Rav 4 with Somers?)

Anyhoo, part of living out loud for the cousin is an absolute intolerance for low-fat cooking.  Let's just say her eggs were tasty.

I, on the other hand, have a doctor- and spousal-mandated LOVE for low-fat cooking.  So, when we found ourselves wandering through our crack dealer, and noticed they had fresh truffles on sale, we immediately bought some and went about trying to decide how we should cook them.  After a few quasi-failed attempts (I curdled a truffle and clam cream sauce), I settled on stealing my cousin's eggs...with some modification.

Truffled, Slow-Scrambled Eggs

What You Need

1-2 eggs per person, scrambled
Fresh black truffle (about 1/8 ounce per person), shaved and sliced
1/8 cup finely-chopped Italian parsley
A pinch of sea salt
1 tsp. fat free half & half
1 tsp. butter
Toasted ciabatta slices

What To Do With It

Melt the butter in a pan over LOW heat.  If you're using a gas stove, use the smallest burner possible.  Add the half & half and salt to the eggs and mix. 

Now get ready for your morning calisthenics:  pour the eggs in the skillet and start stirring.  Just keep stirring. For about 20-30 minutes.

Your eggs will slowly begin to curdle, but it will take a while.  Be patient.  You'll know they're ready when you stir them and rather than just moving eggs around in a swirl, you actually almost fold them.  Cook for one minute more, then remove and keep stirring for another minute.

Spoon on top of your toasted bread, sprinkle the truffles and parsley on top and enjoy!

Baked Apples and Steel Cut Oatmeal

Over Christmas, I got a great present: we went to Colorado and it was actually COLD, with (some) SNOW, no less! (To make you jealous, here's a photo of the tree, set up outside on the deck under a full moon.)  

The great thing about crisp, Colorado mornings (as opposed to the bone-chilling, albeit technically warmer ones we have in Dallas), is that they invite you to get up and enjoy the morning at a leisurely pace. 

We were reminded by my father (too late, I might add) that there are, in fact, stores in Colorado. Accordingly, we found ourselves with far too much fruit.  So I decided to take advantage of our leisurely morning and, after about four cups of coffee, cook up some steel-cut oatmeal (that's NOT anywhere close to the Quaker Instant stuff, thank-you-very-much) and bake some apples to go with it.

Baked Apples and Steel Cut Oatmeal

What You Need

1 small apple per person

1 tsp brown sugar per apple

Ground cinnamon

Orange juice

Steel-cut oatmeal (I use McCann's)

1/8 cup buttermilk per person

What To Do With It

You're going to start the apples first, as they take about 30 minutes (the oatmeal takes only about 20 minutes).

Core your apples. Cut off about 1/4"-1/2" from the top and make the bottoms flat (cut off about 1/8"). Place them on a baking sheet lightly coated with butter. Pour just enough orange juice to lightly cover the bottom of the sheet.

Put 1 tsp brown sugar in each apple, and sprinkle the top with cinnamon. Bake at 375 for 30 minutes or so (cooking times at 9000 feet are always different from anywhere else).

When the apples are done, place one in a bowl, surround with oatmeal, and pour the buttermilk (TRUST ME!) in the center.  There will be some juice in your pan: spoon some of that up, and ladle it around the outside of your apple, directly on the oatmeal.

Enjoy!

Killer Apps--Bruschetta, Stuffed Portabella, Ceviche Tostada

In the world of computers, a killer app is something "of such great value or popularity that it assures the success of the technology with which it is associated."

In the world of dinner, a killer app sets the tone for the meal to come, and assures the success of the dinner with which it is associated.  Start off your meal with bagel bites, and I don't care how well-prepared or tasty  the rest of your meal is, it will fall flat.

We recently had a few friends (and by "few" I mean "18") to dinner.  Seeing as our kitchen is in a state of disrepair (but the cabinets are finally in place), we had to use my folks' kitchen.  Cooking in someone else's kitchen is never easy, so we went for the simplest killer appetizers we could think of: bruschetta and ceviche tostada.  We also served stuffed portabellas that night (along with stilton-stuffed pork chops), but as an entree.  While I appreciate the need for some people to eschew meat, I just don't get it.  So I'm posting the mushroom recipe here.

Killer Appetizers
(Bruschetta, Ceviche Tostada, Stuffed Portabellas)

What You Need

(Bruschetta)

1 baguette
1 cup eggplant (peeled)
1/2 cup kalamata olives
1 tbsp  finely-chopped oregano
1/2 cup red onion or shallot (depending on your onion taste level)
3 cloves garlic, minced
3 tomatoes, chopped & deseeded
1/2 cup olive oil
1 tbsp parmesean cheese (shredded)
1-2 tsp salt

(Ceviche Tostada)

3 filets tilapia, sliced thin and cut into 1/4" pieces
1 sweet potato, cut into french-fry sized strips
14 corn tortillas
1/4 red onion, sliced thin
Juice of 8-10 limes (enough to cover your fish)
Hot oil
Hot sauce (such as Cholula)

(Stuffed Portabellas)

6 portabella mushrooms (or alternatively, you could use about 18-20 of the "baby portabellas" aka crimini mushrooms

1/3 lb roquefort
1/3 cup walnuts, chopped
1/2 cup breadcrumbs (I made my own, but you can use store-bought if you have enough on your plate already)

1/4 cup minced shallots

What To Do With It

(Bruschetta)

Slice your baguette into 1/4-1/2 inch wide slices. Using a pastry brush, brush each side with olive oil. Bake at 350 for 5-8 minutes per side.  You can add a little parmesean after you flip them, if you want.

Add the olives, cheese, 2 tbsp olive oil, garlic, eggplant and onions together.  Stick in a food processor and blend.  Nuke this (or heat over medium-low heat) until it's heated throughout.  Now you have an olive tapanade.

Put your tomatoes, oregano, salt and about 1/4 cup olive oil in a bowl, mix and let sit for an hour.

(Ceviche Tostada)

Place the onions in salt water and set aside for about 3 hours.

Cover the tilapia with lime juice in a bowl. Stir occasionally (this will take about 3 hours to cook).

Using a cookie cutter, cut your tortillas into 1-1/2" to 2" rounds.  Drop these in hot oil until brown. Remove and drain.

Drop your sweet potato fries in the oil for about 3 minutes--you're just blanching them, not frying.  For both, you'll have to do multiple batches.

Place a slice of potato on a tortilla round, cover with about 1 tbsp of fish, put an onion slice on top (alternatively, mince your onions, and sprinkle minced onion on top), and add a little hot sauce on top.

(Stuffed Mushrooms)

Wash, then dry your mushrooms. Lightly brush the outsides with olive oil. Cut out the stems.

Mix together the roquefort and walnuts.  Place that mixture in the center of your mushroom, leaving about 1/2 inch rim (if using crimini, go ahead a

nd fill). Sprinkle a little salt around the edges, spinkle some shallots (enough to lightly cover your cheese) and cover the whole mushroom with bread crumbs.

Bake at 350 for 20-25 minutes.

Smoked Sea Salt

So, I've officially met middle age.  I am now no longer allowed to have unlimited double cheeseburgers. 

Now I have to cut down on my fat intake.

Hand me a gun.  I just want to get it over with.

Well, they say that necessity is the mother of invention. And I necessarily need something smoky in a lot of my food.  Bacon, apparently, is right out.  That means smoky goodness is right out.  Unless you want to have chipotles or smoked salt.

Chipotles are good (mine are awesome), but don't always go with what you're making.  Smoked salt runs about $30+/pound, which I am just too cheap to buy.

But what if you could buy your salt at about $9.00 a pound...or less?

I made a trip to World Market, bought some grey sea salt for about $8, and after my annual chipotle smoke, had almost a pound of smoked salt.

Smoked Sea Salt

What You Need:

Salt (coarse grind)
Smoke (about 30 hours worth)
Aluminum trays with small holes in the bottom
Seasonings?

What To Do With It:

I did this while smoking jalapenos. For fun, I added (i) a sliced jalapeno to one pan, (ii) a whole jalapeno to a second and (iii) a sprig of fresh rosemary to a third. 

First, poke small holes in the bottoms of your pans. If you've got coarse salt, you shouldn't have any (or much) falling through. 

Next, add whatever herbs/spices you think might taste good.  I found that I could taste just a bit of extra heat from the sliced jalapeno tray.  The rosemary added just a hint of the spice when ground with the salt.

Place your trays according to the heat you're using: 150 degrees and less, place on the top rack.  More, place on the bottom rack. You don't want too much heat, as the resin will cook away. After my initial heating, I dropped my temp to about 125, and moved the trays up to the top rack, by the chimney (away from the fire box).

Don't do this if you're smoking ribs, for instance, as your salt will pick up the flavors of whatever moisture is floating around.  Jalapenos add a small amount of flavor, and so are great for this.

Smoke your salt, uncovered, for about 24-36 hours, stirring about every 4 hours. Put it in a grinder and use in place of bacon for flavoring (such as in potato-leek soup).